You’ve already started the hardest part: you admitted to yourself that you wanted something else. It doesn’t really matter what that “else” is; all that matters is you finally said aloud (if only to yourself).
I cannot remain as I am and flourish.
Oh the irony that even as that last word falls from your lips, your find yourself wrapped in darkness. You can’t see anything anymore, and can barely move. This isn’t what you meant!
In speaking those words, you thought your Path would become clear. The clouds would part and your next steps would be illuminated with the sun’s glowing rays. Flowers would bloom with each step you took, and Joy would shine forth from your heart.
Instead, here you are, stuck. There is no light. The air is thick and stuffy, and you can’t see where to go, let alone how to get there. There is no joy, just confusion and frustration. And perhaps not a little bit of sadness.
How are you supposed to find your way forward when you can’t move at all?
It’s the thing we fear to admit to ourselves; the thing that keeps us where we are long past the time when we need to move on.
In order for us to grow into our next version of ourselves, we must first go inward and germinate. It looks like stopping. It feels claustrophobic. You struggle against the wrappings keeping you where you are, trying to break free. But you can’t. Because you aren’t ready yet.
You are so close very close though. But in order to break free and move forward, you must first still. Stop. Cease resisting. In that cocoon of darkness, watch as old, long-forgotten memories surface. Things from long ago still influencing you now; still keeping you where you are, even though you long to move forward.
As you confront the things that no longer serve you, you free up space for the new you to grow.
These old things no longer hold you back. They show you the possibilities that lay before you. Instead of claustrophobia, you feel hope. You accept the darkness into you and think: this is just a way station. I’m almost there.
Things start becoming brighter. You feel like you have more freedom, more movement. One day, you notice a thin spot in your wrappings. If you just poke it there . . . just squirm a little bit more . . . and more . . . there it is!
Sunlight. Flowers. A clear and welcoming day. You emerge from your cocoon and find your Path right in front of you. You marvel at how you struggled to find it before, when it seems so obvious now.
Emergence is a beautiful thing. And you don’t look back. Why would you? You’re not there anymore. That was someone else. You have become a different You. And your destiny is ahead of you.